Separation anxiety

Okay, so I haven't updated my blog in about a month. Truth is, this whole month, in spite of lots of distractions and trips, I've been obsessing about one single event: returning to work. I have job, it starts Monday, and I am going to have to say goodbye to Chloe for much of the day. And though millions of mothers go through this, I am having a very hard time with it. Hundreds of various aspects of our upcoming separation occupy my mind, missing out on those adorable little new things she comes up with, hearing her voice babble in the background of my days, the simplicity of delight at small accomplishments. I am going through all the phases of grief at the same time, and it hasn't even happened yet. I'll have had eight full months, which is more than many get.
The thing is, Chloe will continue to grow, in fact, she will do great with her nanny. We've been spending this week transitioning already. The fundamental fact is that after spending almost every moment close to her since she arrived, I am now having to accept her separateness from me, accept the fact she is actually her own self and not organically part of me, though she feels just that close.