About the heat...

About the first thing our friends ask us about is the heat here in the South. Now Mike is from here (more or less) and I grew up in Hong Kong (which is super hot) so we pretty physiologically equipped for life here. That and, unlike the folks in Paris and Geneva suffering under the heat wave, we have air conditioning.
That being said, it might surprise you that the heat is a large subject of conversation here in the South as well, even among the natives. So much so that the News & Observer, the Raleigh daily, ran an article on heat-speak. Apparently, July 20 is historically the hottest date in North Carolina. To mark the occasion they solicited vernacular colloquialisms about the heat. As the N&O says, we all hate repeating ourselves, so a little originality might be welcome among our old buds back in the Sacramento Valley heat.
I ran the entries past Mike for authenticity. A caveat: I haven't had a chance to ask my father-in-law Gene yet what expressions he knows, and I can certify he has the best expressions. So there may yet be more. Here goes:
- It's hotter than a half-bred fox in a forest fire. (?)
- It's hotter than a billy goat in a pepper patch.
- It's hotter than two cats fighting in a wool sock.
- It's so hot the corn started popping off the ears and my mule thought it was snow and froze to death. (Mule jokes seem big out here)
- It's so hot I saw two trees fighting over a dog.
- It's hotter than a firecracker lit at both ends.
- It's hotter than a Southern bride in a feather bed.
- It's so hot it will make you return things you never stole.
Lastly, remember:
- It's not the heat, it's the humidity.